last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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