i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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