I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
