well I can't set my house on fire every night
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
