come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
