I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize