He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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