I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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