Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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