I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
