okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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