Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
