i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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