she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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