Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
