either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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