actually, I'm a sock model
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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