I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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