i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
