I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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