can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
