It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
