Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
True strength comes from lack of pants
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
