roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
