Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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