i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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