so that wasnt chicken after all
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
