I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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