Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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