You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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