so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
