You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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