i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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