Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
