Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
