He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
