i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
