with your own penis?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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