oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
