I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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