new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
