sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
