If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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