The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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