I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
