Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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