I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
