why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
