i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
