Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
