help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize