If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
