is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
