Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
