U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
