dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
