What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She's JV to your varsity
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
