Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
