a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
