Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
