this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
