in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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