My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
